The Witzelsucht Memorandum

The only un-blog with a Ph.D in mixology!
The Witini®...the official Wit Memo cocktail!
  • 6-8 ounces ice-cold GIN from the freezer.  Any gin will do, as long as it's dry and clear, and from the freezer.  Wit Memo likes Beefeater, Tanqueray, Bombay ... you know, the usual stuff.  They're all pretty good, but that guy on the Beefeater bottle is much cooler than that sourpuss Queen Victoria on the Bombay bottle.  Plus, we love eating beef, so it's a natural for whetting the appetite before a crusty, blood-rare standing rib roast.  Don't listen to snobs who insist that only one brand of gin will do and turn their noses up at everything else, especially if you're using someone else's booze.

  • 1 PICKLED BRUSSEL SPROUT.  Brussel sprouts are great; they're like little cabbages!  But they taste so much better!  To find pickled brussel sprouts, look in the condiments aisle, the relish aisle, or the party mix aisle where they keep the cocktail onions, the bloody mary mix, and the olives stuffed with almonds.  When that fails, ask the produce manager.  If he doesn't have pickled brussel sprouts, and there's no way he will, then make them yourself.  Boil or steam briefly, and then marinate at least overnight in a vinegar/olive oil/garlic dressing, or stuff into a jar of Ba-Tampte half sour pickles or pickled tomatoes.  We're confident that that one of those ideas has just got to work.  If all else fails, substitute 6 or 7 cocktail onions.
  • Equipment
  • Metal cocktail shaker

  • Water glass

  • Strainer

  • Ice.  Ice should be ice-cold.
  • Procedure
    Fill shaker 1/2 full with ice, pour in gin, and shake vigourously.  Of course you don't really need to shake the gin over ice since it's already cold and you're not mixing it with anything, but shaking a cocktail is incredibly fun.  Keep at it until your fingertips hurt from the cold (this is why the shaker should be metal).  If you're using a shaker with a lid (as opposed to a bar shaker and pint glass), hold the lid firmly in place during the shaking process (we speak from experience).  Strain into the waterglass, drop in the pickled brussel sprout, and enjoy.  As with another favorite thing, once is not enough, twice is fine, and three isn't out of the question.  What was that other thing?  Oh, that's right:  half liters of beer.

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