Doddering, old fart historian STEPHEN AMBROSE was utterly ineffectual against PAT BUCHANAN during their "debate" about Buchanan's new book on MSNBC's "Internight" (Wednesday night 9/22) - mostly because he came off as a doddering, old fart historian. The topic was Buchanan's controversial argument that the world woulda been a better place if the US-of-A hadn't helped put the kibosh on ADOLPH HITLER, and stayed out of Europe during WWII. With his thunderous oratory and bold, sweeping assertions, Buchanan was pure fire 'n' brimstone TV, while poor Ambrose, speaking from some rustic log cabin like he was GERRY SPENCE or something, was muttering, hair-splitting, endlessly qualifying, academic mush. It was like JOHN STUART MILL versus JERRY SPRINGER

And for all his fancy degrees and allegedly acclaimed books, Ambrose still failed to ask "Pitchfork Pat" the most obvious, most pressing question of all. Ambrose dropped the ball when Buchanan argued at one point that ol' Adolph coulda been stopped without US help if only Britain had taken him on earlier, which would have spared the world horrors like Auschwitz, Treblinka, and, by implication, the loss of Jewish lives in the Holocaust. 

At this point, WIT MEMO was dyin' to ask: 

Mr. Buchanan, among the Jews whose lives you allege would have been saved if Britain had taken on Hitler earlier, are you including the hundreds of thousands of Jews and others known to have been murdered by suffocation with diesel exhaust, which YOU claim DIDN'T HAPPEN?!?! Just wondering. (Don't worry, somebody already did the research.)
Later that night, on the CARTOON CHANNEL, we saw a WWII-vintage BUGS BUNNY - the one where Bugs battles a gremlin in a bomber, which concludes with the plummeting plane screeching to a halt in mid-air, five feet from the ground, and then the punch line: awwww, we ran out of gas!  It was lushly drawn, with artistic attention to detail that's no longer financially feasible. 

And we thought, if history had gone Pat Buchanan's way, we never would have gotten to see that wonderful cartoon, which is one of our earliest childhood memories. 

MOREOVER, if we'd stayed out of the war, WIT MEMO would've been deprived of the joy we've had lording it over Europeans with our FAVORITE PHRASE for transatlantic travel: 

"If we hadn't pulled your chestnuts out of the fire in WWII, you'd all be speaking German!"

And on the rhetorical tip . . . is it JUST COINCIDENCE that the ONLY announced Presidential candidate to write a book taking issue with America's war on Hitler is also the ONLY candidate whom proto-WASP WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY, JR. said he couldn't defend against charges of antisemitism? Like we said, just wondering. 

NOBODY seems to be mentioning the Buckley verification this time around, and Buchanan currently ascribes any claim that he's anti-Jew to what he describes as his courageous willingness to stand up to the "Israeli Lobby." 

WIT MEMO WARNING to Mr. Buchanan:  You go right ahead and stand up to that lobby, Pat . . . and then just TRY getting a loan from any bank, anywhere, anytime! 

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