The  Witzelsucht  Memorandum
The Un-Blog

-Where Top-Hat, Red-Carpet Service is Practically A Motto-

Witzelsucht (vit'sel-zookt) [Ger.]  a mental condition characteristic of frontal lobe lesions and marked by the making of poor jokes and puns and the telling of pointless stories, at which the patient himself is intensely amused. --Dorland's Medical Dictionary
Read Letters to Wit Memo . . . Wit Memo Statement of Principles
A big Wit Memo "congratulations" to MICHAEL CHERTOFF on his recent confirmation as Director of Homeland Security!  If he does half as good a job rooting out terrorism as he did getting to the bottom of that Whitewater mess, then we know our nation's security won't be diminished by any little bit!
And congratuations, too, to his wife Melanie!  She was hilarious on the classic sketch comedy TVshow "Fridays!"

DEATH TO THE SIMPSONS: Wit Memo was the first to speak the sad truth: The Simpsons have lost it!  They must die!

HOW I CAPTURED ERIC RUDOLPH:   It's all in a day's work as ultimate everyman Wit Memo brings in the Olympic Park bomber.

JUVENILE PERVERSION: The classic Dirty Songs of Childhood . . . now available on CD!

THERE'S SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT MOTHER TERESA:  Now that she's up for early Sainthood, take a look back at her unknown comedic side!  We swear.... she'll slay ya!

DRUNKEN CAROUSING: What happened at the   Fall Greek Festival wasn't Wit Memo's fault!

Wit Memo AGAINST DC voting rights?!  Why Wit Memo stood up and cheered when the court turned thumbs down on Congressmen for DC!

Wit Memo's dirty little habit . . . a tale of personal degredation so vile and disgusting that it had to be told!

MILLENNIUM/Y2K NONSENSE:  the numbskulls who got bent out of shape over Y2K and the so-called Millennium.  Wit Memo had them dead to rights, both before and after.

COMMIE CLASS WARFARE:  After 1911's Triangle Shirt-Waist Fire, Enron and the NASDAQ nose dive were no surprise. The quick end of CEOs-as-moral-paragons movement of the mid-90s.

still more: Back Issues of the original e-zine  . . .  stuff from  OTHER places  . . . slangy saws 'n' screeds . . .  how can you bear not looking?

FINALLY RELEVANT:  Rename the Washington Redskins after RONALD REAGAN!

THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST: : What do The Three Stooges and Jesus Christ have in common?   Ask Mel Gibson!

HOT JEWISH SEX: The timeless, tortured truth of the JEWISH SINGLES SCENE in Washington, DC (the basis of Stanley Kubrick's last film, "Wide Thighs Shut") ... From the classic zine PLOTZ

LEAVE OUR BEER ALONE:  How the new prohibitionists chased the Beerfest out of D.C.  Score one for the recovery industry!

WHITE SUPREMACY:  A Jewish Neo-Nazi's attempt to stage a Nazi march on Washington could've been scripted by Woody Allen and Philip Roth.

Jewish Scholarship ... not just the new King of Men, Wit Memo is the King of the Jews, too! Peruse Why Keep Kosher? ... Chanukah, The Jewish Christmas! ... and A Modest Proposal for JEWS in WRESTLING! (WARNING: May Be Considered Offensive!)

Wit Memo kicks -and saves- DONALD RUMSFELD's butt! Plus: Tom Cruise's gay charge court victory ... when has this happened before? 

From Washington City ... Wit Memo heads to NYC with a hot DC band ... and the band breaks up!

old politics:  THAT ELECTION... The Ultimate List of George W. Nicknames! -- Pat Buchanan ...  Al Gore  ...  Gary Bauer ...2000's Sad Bunch of Candidates ... Elian ...

New!   Oh, no!  A Devastated Dem's Guide to Just Getting Over It!

Wit Memo endorsed KERRY! ... Teresa, that is's all about the beer!

What in the Sam Hill was George "Dubya" doing speaking FRENCH during the first Presidential debate?!?

Wit Memo on the Democratic Convention... plus: Wit Memo in  Wonkette? You bet!

Special Death O' Reagan Issue! What we OWE the Gipper ... his funniest moments ... the Reagan spirit lives on -- in the DC City Council?!?

June '04: CONSERVATIVES have grown up, when will liberals? ... the upside to the Iraq prison torture mess ... the REAL "greatest generation" ... Godzilla's back, and we've got him! ... more!

May '04: Why GAYS -and everyone else- should MARRY! ... Plus, looking for GOOD NEWS about IRAQ? Here it is!

April '04: COMEDY in GOV'T: Former Medicare head Tom Scully's threat to ax his actuary was only a joke! What a kidder!

GODLESS, POST-MODERN SARCASM: When right-wing Demigod PAUL WEYRICH conceded defeat in the culture war, Wit Memo acccepted his surrender! Timeless . . . guffaws guaranteed! -Wit Memo

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE VALENTINE'S DAY!  A Wit Memo Valentine's Day Legend

DEATH O' DIWit Memo cuts its teeth on the tragic demise of the Princess of Wales.

Watch this space ... more to come!

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© 1997 Jeffrey Sacks

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